Glob's Gift
by Lemon Moons
Summary: The story of four friends as they traverse the apocalyptic wasteland that is USA. (The precursor to Ooo, much like that in the episode "Simon & Marcy") FINN & JAKE DO NOT EXIST YET & THIS IS JUST MY INTERPRETATION OF THE WORLD DURING/AFTER THE EVENTS OF "THE GREAT MUSHROOM WAR"


**Hello Readers! This is basically a story based in the world of Adventure Time with Finn & Jake. This story does NOT star Finn & Jake however, it is basically one of my ideas for what happened during the apocalyptic "Great Mushroom War", the interpretation that Glob in-universe is actually just their version of God (Yes I do know that in the episode "Puhoy" Glob did appear, but we don't know that was real or not!), & bringing Hunson Abadeer as a recurring character (And maybe Simon Petrikov & Marceline during their time together). And here's a big one: I DO NOT OWN ADVENTURE TIME! I NEVER HAVE AND I NEVER WILL! I ONLY OWN MY CHARACTERS & THE BASIC PLOT OF THIS FANFIC! Without further interruption, I give you "Glob's Gift"**

Our story begins in the grand world of Wisconsin, USA, where a young man is typing away at his computer, attempting to input several numbers into tax systems. This young man's name is David Burns, an accountant from Eastern Australia attempting to make his way in the world. Dave envisioned himself as being rich by the time he reached 26… this did not happen. You see, David used to have a habit of using his money to buy pleasures for himself, as he suffered greatly from the sin of greed; one pleasure in particular was collecting Vinyl records, one of his great passions. Regurgitator, Blur, Green Day, Red Hot Chili Peppers, they were all his. At his shared house with his friends, there consisted a serious money problem & lack of motivation from everyone present. His best friend, a rather giant Maori New Zealander named Alan, became an IT expert, however never found enough motivation to get up & find a job (How he got into America is an enigma to everyone) & he ended up just doing freelance work on the internet. Their American roommates, step-brothers Kale & John, also found money hard to come by. Kale was a police officer in the Madison Police Department, & John was an attorney (As successful as it sounds, he was state renowned for being a rather shitty lawyer, and so he didn't get much work).

Each of their days were more or less the same, they ended up doing their terrible, mundane jobs, one or two of them walked past the homeless man proclaiming that the devil & his demons were going to destroy the planet & take over, & they would make it home, have a few beers, watch the news on the war against Russia & North Korea, & eventually have their dinner. Now many of you would be thinking, "War against these countries? Whatever happened?" Well, a year or two ago, a president decided it would be a brilliant idea to nuke North Korea. Now this in theory may or may not have been good, if not for the fact that North Korea retaliated by bombing South Korea, destroying the Korean Peninsula as a whole. Russia didn't like America using atomic weapons of mass destruction, so they declared war on America. Ain't politics fun?

Usually, they would have done this, however a certain friend by the name of Kale Gleeson was not present at their daily gathering, sparking worry from his friends.

"Where's Kale?"

"I dunno."

"Oh alright."

As you can clearly tell, his friends deeply care about him. However, our missing person, my dear readers, had a breakdown in the middle of the day, & went on a mass spending spree, attempting to purchase many survival supplies, including multitudes of canned food, water, water purifiers, some water canteens, a tonne of hunting knives, quite a few med-kits & a couple of tents. You see, Kale loved his friends, & he wanted to keep them as safe as he could. He also broke the law of taking his work home with him & stole one of the department's revolvers, along with quite a bit of ammunition. The total cost of this spree was $6305.37 + Tax.

What happened to Kale to twist him to this state of mind was a vision. While he was in the shooting range, firing his now currently stolen revolver, he froze. A blinding light & a voice as clear as day began to speak to him from the center of the range. The voice, while bizarre to the non-religious, was a clear sign to Kale of whom the voice belonged to… God. God showed Kale a vision of the future, & in the light, he saw a vision of a portal, & out of it, came a pale man, with slits for eyes & pointed ears. The man came in a three piece suit that seemed to glow red. One name came to Kale's mind… Satan… but it wasn't Satan… it couldn't be… and around his neck, he wore an amulet around his neck that had a yellow neck strap & a purple crystal hanging at the bottom. The man then transformed into a monster, presumably from the amulet.

Kale was terrified of this vision, but more so by what came next. As the vision cleared, he was gifted with another; a nuclear bomb, being set off right where he stood, presumably from Russia. He began to panic to himself, where would he run to? Where would he go? One last vision before god left him. A swamp. A swamp in Louisiana, where everything was relatively untouched. With the final thought, god left him. Kale just stood there, speechless & holding a gun. He could end it right now, so swiftly, no pain, and no fear. But then he thought about his friends. They had no insight to this… they would be destroyed by the bomb ever so painfully. He looked down to the metal bench separating the two parts of the ranges. There was a large number 5 etched into the metal. One last sign from god. 5 days to prepare & get to Louisiana… & with that, Kale stole the gun & ammunition & drove away to pick up supplies, all with baffled co-workers watching a he ran.

The other men minus David sat in the house with nothing to do. They all assumed Kale decided to work overtime, & just opted to finding something to do around the house. The bulky Alan took the job of vacuuming the floors, & Johnathon ended up making meals for the week to come, trying to find bits & bobs in the pantry to use in meals. They both were shifted back to reality by the rattling of keys at the front door, in which David decided to make his entrance.

"Hey guys." He said, slightly stressed from something unknown to the two.

"Hey Dave!" Alan was the first to acknowledge David's presence, "You're home a bit early aren't you? You don't finish for another 4 hours!"

"Yeah about that…" David began, "Did either of you two get a call from Kale?" His nerves began to make the better of him.

John answered, confused, "Umm… no? I haven't seen him since yesterday morning. Why what did he do?"

David began to stress more "He told me to "run home & pack my valuables", then he hung up..."

"Pack our valuables?" Alan joined in on the conversation.

The conversation began to turn to genuine worry for their friend, until they were interrupted by another person bursting through the door, namely Kale. And he was screaming in fear & determination.

"Pack your shit, make Bug Out Bags, get going we're doing this now!"

Alan began to try & calm him down, followed by many attempts by the others to also calm him down, but to no avail. Eventually Kale broke down & told them everything about his visions, his friends were clearly sceptical of the situation. However, David emerged with a bright idea, bringing his two seemingly sane friends to the side to speak with them.

"Let's go along with this"

"What? Are you fucking mental?" Answered John with clear apprehension.

"Look, the way I see it, we go along with his plans, & in a week when everything is normal, we go back & everything goes back to normal!"

"I…" John began "…can't see a flaw in your logic to be honest."

Alan added one final thought "It'll be just camping for a week, we'll be just fine."

And with that final thought, the three broke away & began stocking both their bug out bags & their excess bags. As much as each of them hated to admit, they all slightly feared the real end of the world, as Kale was a straight shooting kind of guy, never having the slightest sign of schizophrenia in his life. With the fear of losing their stuff, they packed both the essentials & other things they worried about losing. Alan packed a few pornographic magazines, a knife, his laptop & quite a few bottles of rum, coke & aged whiskey he'd been keeping for a special occasion. David ended up taking two bottles of shampoo, a bar of soap, a small plush lamb he kept since he was a child, a small baseball bat-looking weapon he made during his school years, a box of his favourite vinyls & a wind up record player for fear of losing electricity, along with a metric tonne of beer & other spirits. John was the least convinced out of them all & only took a couple of things, including a Taser & a couple of family photos that meant most to him. As they left the house, they were reduced to shock by seeing the stocked car & the trailer full of supplies.

The drive to Louisiana took them three days all up, to which conversation was minimal, & fears were high. As they made it to the swamps in which Kale had his visions, he stopped everyone in their tracks.

"We're here" he said, somewhat quietly. Everyone was silent as they trekked through the growths lingering throughout the swamps. After they found a decent spot, near an abandoned shack & on a rather clean grassy patch amidst the somewhat foul smelling swamp, they began to go back & forth between the car & their spot to bring the supplies. The whole charade took them 3 hours to complete, ending when David brought his record player & began to play his records for them to settle down. This did not help.

"Why the hell did you bring that?" asked Alan, both annoyed & confused as to why he brought the damned thing.

"Well I was just trying to make everyone feel better with the lack of electricity, but apparently, I'm not appreciated for trying!" He yelled in response.

The whole situation eventually devolved into arguing about the record player, then it got weird for a while until it eventually ended up aimed at Kale, blaming him for their conversation. John eventually stepped in to calm the situation.

"Alright look, we're just really tired from the trip, right? So I suggest we cool our jets for the night & pick this up tomorrow." Everyone agreed to the plan, along with everyone realising what the next day was. Does anyone remember the 21st of December, 2012? Did you ever have a feeling of fear & what if? If so, you know exactly how these guys were feeling, but ten times worse considering they had actually prepared for it. Each of them went to sleep in their respective tents, apprehension clouding their thoughts, hoping to sweet god that their friend was wrong.

The next day came quicker than any would have wished. And the sound that came next was much worse than any could have imagined. The sound was somewhat akin to a sonic boom, to which each of the men climbed out of their tents. What they saw confirmed their worst fears. Kale the delusional prophet began to cry uncontrollably, as he had hoping to be wrong himself. Alan the bulky Maori began to both piss himself & cry, however not as extreme as Kale. John the nonchalant redhead just straight up passed out for several hours to come. And finally, David the Greedy Accountant just stood there, staring at the image currently in front of him, a large mushroom cloud that had been formed in the very far distance, & even from his current position, he thought he could see what looked like green ghosts emanating from the cloud. The first one to speak was David, before he began to hyperventilate:

"Holy fuck."


End file.
